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Reality, Relativity, Relationality


Marcel Strobel

Reality, Relativity, Relationality

The experience-oriented world view

About purpose, job and sense of life



The Structure of This Book

Part 1 – How We Make Experience

The Dominance of Nothing or Why Reality is an Illusion

Matter and Other Illusions

How We Create Our Reality

Self-Confidence / Self-Awareness

Who Is Thinking Anyway? Who Is Playing?

Why We Think In Models

To Be Or Not To Be

The Meta Principle

The Extended Iceberg Model


Nonsense In Your Head

The Dimension of Illusion

About The Tenacity of Illusion


Life As Art

Reality, Relativity, Relationality

Appraisal Part 1

The Meta Principle / Sequel

To Have / To Do / To Be

Mindsets and Expectations

The Familiar Illusion

The Thought Experiment

Part 2 – Why We Make Experience

Basics About World Views

The Advantage of a Personal World View

Purpose and Use of a World View

Why It Is Important And Advisable To Have A World View And When It Is Relevant

Art And Life

Personal Relevance

Our Individual Illusion

The Illusion of Our Own Body


The Four Steps of Manipulation

The Effect of The Pendulums in Reality

Levels of Consciousness

Money And Society

Function of Inflation

We And Our Lives as an Experiment

Sense, Purpose And Job of Life

Appraisal Part 2

Part 3 – How We Can Influence Our Experience And Thus Our Reality

Insight Does Not Heal?

Insight And Experience

The Decision is Crucial

TRIZ for Life

Thoughts And Feelings, Emotionalization


Getting Out Of The Illusion

Everybody Has Potential Left

Development / Expression / Use of Potential

Appraisal Part 3

Awareness / Unawareness / Potential


Deciding Pro and Contra Experience

Ways to Our Consciousness

Vibrating Energy

Evaluating, Judging, Needing

Deciding Pro Happiness

Becoming Aware

Experience And Attitude

It’s The Attitude That Counts


New Decision

Enabling People Without Creating a Feeling of Need

Behavior Versus Identity

Mistakes And Feedback

Being Gentle – Gentleness

Individual Maps

Inner Motivation

Look Within

Learning And Changing Behaviors

Conditioned Goals

Time and Now

Extending The Comfort Zone


Systemic Self Sabotage

Children And Parents

Confidence Versus Dependence

To Love

Choosing And Realizing of Identities And Deciding For Change

Tactic Actions

Deliberate Thinking And Noticing Deliberateness


13 Commandments To Live Your Dream Life




To Lukas,

my beloved son and all young people who have the feeling that there is something wrong with our world and the reality we live and experience.

Do not let the things you are told stop you. Too few lead the life of their dreams. And this is mainly because they listened to somebody and thought their knowledge is the answer to everything.

So find your way and stay on it – even if you still need to find your way. One thing is for sure, they are trails at best. Stay clear from the main roads. They are lined with those who failed and lost their way while trying to find it. And ignore the sign posts. Those who set them up have rarely chosen one of the paths they signposted.

Some found their way out of the matrix and are the happiest people I know. If you don’t try, you will never find out. Be aware of this: If you want to live a different life than your ancestors, you should not imitate them and take them as your role models. Yet: Be lenient in your judgment and be thankful. You owe your existence to the past.

“I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is that they must change if they are to get better.”

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Being human means to undergo developments. This is not possible in retrospective. Be courageous, be progressive. Contribute to the development of mankind. You are the future. You are your own future, too. Mold it. And have fun doing so. I wish you success and may the power of confidence be with you.


This book is meant to help you acquire a mindset that enables you to use methods successfully and effectively. So you can achieve set goals and even surpass them successfully. This book is an awareness boost that helps you see the world and your own existence in a different, more beneficial light just because of the world view described in it.

And it is about your life. The way it is right now, how it became the wayt it is now and how it used to be. All your life, you are applying methods. Consciously or subconsciously. They have been communicated to you by imitation, upbringing and society. You have either taken them on, ignored them or rebelled against them. No matter what your decision was, your behavior is definitely molded by methods and patterns. All these methods are mainly mechanistic, they did not give you an attitude but rather a type of behavior. This book will help you examine the attitude behind a behavior. And it will help you reflect if you want to welcome this attitude in your life or if you rather have another one. If the latter is the case, you will be able to develop a new type of behavior after having read this book, you will apply new methods that match your attitude better and thus, are more succcessful and effective.

Different people create totally different qualities of life from the same preconditions. Some are happy, others are not. Some have fulfilling relationships, others stumble from one unsuccessful adventure to the next. Some love going to work, others only live for the next weekend or the next vacation. Even if it is the same kind of work they are doing. And they can all have similar partners and environments.

And yet the quality of each individual life seems to be so different that it becomes obvious that the quality of life can hardly created by the circumstances. This leads to the phenomenal conclusion that everybody can be happy, regardless of the circumstances. But apparently, not everybody is happy. There must be a reason for this. And that reason must be found.

There are successful entrepreneurs and less successful ones, even though they offer identical products on the same market. Some people have lots of ideas how to create something new or to improve the existing. Other people with the same education and life experience collapse under every problem and find no solutions or ways out. And doesn’t that seem familiar to you: You used to have a teacher whose classes you loved to attend because learning was fun and easy and your grades were good. And there was this other teacher – you rather pretended to be sick so you could stay home instead of having to attend his classes. He himself felt bitter and had little fun teaching you. What’s interesting is that both teachers had undergone the same education, had the same working hours and got the same pay. So these factors don’t seem to be the reason for loving a job and being successful with it.

So there seems to be another crucial criterion and finding it motivated me to write this book. At the end of the day, attitude is what matters. Or, as Andrew Matthews put it so nicely, “the philosophy and ideology of successful people is a main ingredient of their success”.

Very few know about these contexts and fewer yet apply this knowledge. But this knowledge and, most of all, applying it can influence the quality of life immensely positively.

We live in a complex world. If you believe some scientists, our genes have not changed since the Stone Age some 30,000 years ago. So our genetic code is predestined for living in the Stone Age. This not only affects the recommended nutrition and physical activity books have already been written about but also our way of living, experiencing and coexisting.

The biggest difference between life and experience in the Stone Age and in our time is, that we live in intellectual contructs to a much larger extent than back then. Drastically speaking: Our life is more unnatural than 30,000 years ago.

In the Stone Age, the force of nature dictated the quality and content of our lives. The people living in that time were fully integrated in nature’s processes. If they wanted to escape them, the only choice they had was to retreat to their caves for a little while. But as soon as they got hungry or had no more firewood, they had no choice but to go out and face the force of nature again.

Most of what we experience and feel as integral parts of our lives is based on intellectual constructs. The way we see and perceive the world, the challenges we have to face and the opportunities we see and how many of them we actually make use of.

The family is probably the last remnant of the time our still current genetic code was defined. Maybe also the rural community. But that is about it. All other parts of our lives and our society are based on intellectual constructs that could have turned out or been created totally different.

Back in the days, it was most natural for the parents to bring the children into the world at a very young age. Yet, it was the grandparents’ job to raise them. That way, the parents could dedicate their juvenile power to stock farming and agriculture, hunting, collecting and building houses. Apart from that, they didn’t have to worry about the upbringing and education of their children for that was done by their parents (the children’s grandparents) or the rural community.

Today, we are surrounded by artificial constructs that are intellectual creations altogether. From cities, states and communities of states to the hassle resulting from the artificially created shortage of resources. God, money and land taxes are also intellectual, artificial concepts. And last but not least, our self-conception, the conception of paid work and unemployment, experience we made and passed on, politics and religion also belong in that category.

The intellectual construct mainly is distinguished by being artificial, randomly created or for the benefit of somebody. The world today could just as well be totally different if it was based on another intellectual construct. And this gives us multiple opportunities. Far more than we think possible today. We could seize opportunities to reflect on a new reality, or rather, the illusion of it based on the assessment and interpretation of perception. That way, we could make way for a new perception of reality and, as a consequence, create and define a new way of life and perception.

Therefore, this book is about the following insights:

-Reality is an illusion of actuality. Nothing of what is, is real.

-The type of illusion we live in is based on decisions we or others made about the interpretation of perception. Everything becomes real depending on if and how we evaluate it.

-Our way of evaluation it is an intellectual construct, only one of the possible constructs. Our choice of construct is strongly influenced by our environment, our history (or what we have been told about it), our advantage and, last but not least, the advantage for others.

-We are the ones who decide about interpreting our perceptions. We can re-interpret them anytime and thus can change our lives and our experience.

I will not only describe the situation but also present conclusions for experiencing it day by day and how to use and apply this knowledge. So let’s take a closer look at the metaphysical component and the self as part of the illusion. And you will learn how to free yourself from this illusion.

It is my goal to create consciousness and awareness, so effective tools and methods for self-development and innovation can be even more effective. I consider this extremely important for, very often, methodical competence does exist. However, this knowledge alone is not sufficient or effective in the following three categories:


-problem solving

-Innovation and strategy

What’s needed is a mindset as a precondition to actually make way for innovations, revolutions and radical solutions.

Another goal is that situations and conditions that have been perceived as boundaries so far, are no longer understood as restricted and confining but as freely chosen. It is my goal to show what types of mechanisms are effective so that recent (allegedly) free decisions are not understood as such but as necessities, thus making way for decisions that are actually free.

The eventual goal is more self-responsibility and more power of imagination. The biggest goals and the most striking success can be achieved when the sky is the limit and self-responsibility has reached its peak. To have the ability to expect more and to trust more in the fact that all it takes are maximum self-responsibility and methods of active creations within the personal responsibility, e.g. purposeful thinking.

I wrote this book because I have found out that people, who have gotten access to this concept, have been able to achieve positive changes just by knowing about it and without even applying methods. And these people have become happier than they have ever been before. And because, just by knowing about this concept, people have found a very effective access to methods they wouldn’t have trusted before. This concept gave them access so they could understand why some methods can work at all. Thus, applying the methods was much more effective.

This is the difference between learning by heart and understanding/perceiving. People are able to learn physical formulas by heart and can solve exercises with these formulas. But once they have understood why the formula is the way it is, i.e. in what way a certain criterion influences a result or an outcome, they can start their own reflections. They can think about how changing certain criteria will influence the result and, most of all, they can consider the options of how they can achieve their desired result and what changes will have to be made in order to get there. It is up to them. Not just because they know the rules but, most of all, because they are aware of the internal contexts and connections the system is subjected to and obeys. Their possibilities for creation and influence increase immensely once they don’t just have the knowledge but also understand a system and how it works.

You might wonder why I wrote this book when there are already so many books dealing with this subject. Even if it is considered impolite to answer a question with a counter question: Do you know a person who is not living his dream life yet? Who has not yet achieved all his goals and is happy as can be? One person, who could make more of his life? If you only know one single person the above items apply to, this book is more than justified. Everybody has the right and the chances to live his dream life. All we have to do is recognize the options and claim the right to it. Everybody has the right to be happy, successful and just be anything he wants to be. If he wants to. If you want to, I am happy to help you get there with this book.

This book has the purpose of creating a consciousness in you that is a fruitful nutrient medium for effective tools. It will help you apply these methods much more effectively than you can just knowing that these are effective tools. It will not provide you with new tools, there are more than enough of them and I have never encountered a situation that did not have an appropriate method. However, more than once, I have seen that just having the tools does not bring the success desired. At best, you don’t need any more tools at all to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve after having read this book.

This consciousness alone helps you to have less problems, worries and needs as of now and enables you to manage the remaining problems easily. This is not only possible but almost inevitable. Nature, God, or whoever you hold responsible for your existence, has not planned it any other way. Once you have reached this level of consciousness, you will change from the cue ball to the key player and, later, even to the designer of the game.

This is no explanation for something in the outside and no method of handling or interpreting the outward. It is an explanation and perception for what is inside. This perception then enables the interpretation of the outward more clearly, makes many things comprehensible and, most of all, offers possibilities of how to deal with what’s shown on the outside. So, from the outside, we go inside first. We will find a philosophy for what is inside. With this philosophy, we will watch what is shown on the outside.

This book is meant to be initiator, companion and presenter on your way there. You can handle it any way you want to and decide any way you want to. One thing is for sure: After having read it, you will never again be able to claim you did not know about it. So, get ready to go in the rabbit hole!

One last thing: Some passages of this book are written in short keywords. This is meant to give you an option to make your own reflections about these keywords. And it is an option for me not to keep you waiting for this book any longer.

Marcel Strobel

North Little Rock, September 26th 2016

The Structure of This Book

This book is subdivided in three parts.

The first part investigates the necessity, the (basic) possibility and the chances of a new view of the world, a new model of the world. It explains why every world view can never correspond to reality and we therefore can and should decide in favor of a world view in a well-thought of way. It is shown that our social system and everything we consider “normal” is based on an intellectual and artificial construct and is everything but natural or according to nature.

In the second part, the world view is presented along with all its characteristics and features. It is also made room for the approach to be able to at least see this world view as a realistic idea. The questions about sense, purpose and job of live are answered. These answers provide an easier and more successful way of dealing with life’s challenges.

The third part is about the advantage of this world view, the resulting benefit and how this world view can help to create quality in (the personal) life. It is meant to give you the chance of acting favorably within this artificial intellectual construct of our society. “Favorably” in this context means: according to your goals. The third part of this book is the ultimative life hack in the game of life.

Part 1 – How We Make Experience

About the illusion of reality.

Why reality the way we perceive it does not exist from the view of psychology and physics.

How we design our own individual reality and shape the illusion.


The Dominance of Nothing or Why Reality is an Illusion

Let’s go back to the question we have asked in the beginning: Do you sometimes wonder why one person achieves totally different results than another person even though they have identical preconditions?

The reason is that both live in different worlds or at least explain, perceive and create the same world with different world views.

For, thinking that the preconditions are identical, is a false conclusion. It just seems that way from our perspective, it is our evaluation. From the individual view of the two persons, these are totally different worlds based on totally different perceptions and evaluations.

Everybody lives in his own personal world.

Everyone of us lives in his world. In his very own one. You don’t believe that we all live in our own personal world? I am happy to explain this to you. Let’s start with the basics, with a dot, a dot as tiny as an atom.

The findings of the theory of relativity and quantum physics are taught at schools and universities. But in my understanding, the practical relevance for our lives is only explained insufficiently. These subjects are dealt with as if we personally have nothing to do with them. The opposite is the case. These two specific fields describe our existence much more appropriately than we can imagine. And this has an enormous effect on the opportunities we have. And we can use them. To our advantage.

Whatever we perceive as matter is an illusion for, most of all, the world consists of a lot of nothing. Nothing, energy and information. The little bit of matter does not play much of a role. And, most of all, it creates an impression that does not justify its minor existence. Matter is an impostor.

A lot, too many things in our lives, are focused on matter. Not just the matter we want to own, that bothers us or the matter we feel powerless about (e.g. in our bodies). But matter hardly exists. What does exist is a big illusion.

We are matter and energy alike.

How much matter is there? Well, first of all, we have to come to an agreement on we consider matter. For this is where the we are walking on thin ice already due to the wave-particle duality. Something (there is no better word for it than “something” - you will soon read why) can be particle and wave at the same time, i.e. something nonmaterial. This was found out with photons, i.e. particles of light. Depending on the setup of the test (the famous double-slit experiment), light can be particle or wave. So when we talk about “something”, it means matter as well as wave. It is a fluent transition, presumably very difficult to be localized and is a feature inherent in everything. In everything that exists. The universe, our earth and us. That way, we experience ourselves as something physical and material but we are energy as well. And, depending on the point of view, nothing but energy for, from this angle, matter is nothing but coagulated energy.

If we ignore this effect, we can agree on matter consisting of atoms. They, in turn, consist of electrons and a nucleus, which consists of protons and neutrons. The electrons move in probability clouds or, according to previous understanding, in orbits around the nucleus. There is a lot of space between the shell of the electrons and the nucleus, a lot of space. Take a guess how much space.

Let’s take a single atom and blow it up for a better imagination. Let’s make this single atom as big as Notre-Dame in Paris. The shell of the building represents the shell describing the electrons. Here’s the quiz question: How big is the nucleus?

Here’s a little hint: Imagine you would enter Notre-Dame through the main gate. Then, you walk along the aisle between the pews until you reach row 67. There, you turn right into the pews and go to the middle of this pew and take a seat. There is a hymnbook in front of you. Open it on page 89 and move your finger along the lines. Stop at line 24. The third word from the left contains the letter “i”. The nucleus is just as big as the dot on the “i”. Now, you look around and see the huge space that surrounds you. All is empty void within the atom. So much of nothing and only so little of something that does not necessarily have to be matter but could also be energy, depending on the point of view.

Whatever exists is nothing most of all.

If we leave the “nothing” out of the familiar universe and just look at the remaining matter, you could carry away the entire universe in one 3-gallon bucket. The bucket would be very heavy but it would only be one bucket. Not more. There is no more matter.

Marginal note: And even if you don’t believe one word I say and stick to your type of reality: You will already be able to take advantage of this point of view if you allow this thought to be an experiment.

Eventually, everything around us is much more energy than matter, including us. Publishings with a more esoteric orientation like to describe us as energy beings. And that’ just how it is and it probably is the best description for our true being.

Matter and Other Illusions

Matter is an illusion. Everything is energy and not much beyond that. But why can’t reach through things? Why can we grab things and alter their positions?

It is a question of speed. Compare the electrons orbiting the nucleus and the atoms that are also oscillating with very fast vehicles on the highway. Let’s assume a car is 13 feet long and drives at 70 mph. According to the applicable rule of the road traffic regulations, the vehicles should have a distance of 185 feet. If we imagine a chain, this would mean 13 feet of cars, 185 feet of nothing, then 13 feet of cars and 185 feet of nothing and so on. Now, please imagine it is a 6-lane highway with cars driving on all 6 lanes at 70 mph and a distance of 185 feet between them. Would you cross the highway in one go without waiting for the next gap between the lanes? Surely not. You would collide with a vehicle on one lane at least, or rather, the vehicle would collide with you. You just would not get through.

Speed creates illusion.

Most of all, this is due to the limitation of your own speed and a little bit to the probability that there is this one short moment when the entire highway is free in the direction you are moving. If you were fast enough to seize this moment, you would have a chance. But since you are not, the same thing would happen like when you try to reach through a chair: You collide with what exists, which is very little compared to the space, yet is moving at an incredibly high speed, thus creating the illusion the entire space was filled with these particles.

To complete the model: Have you ever tried to push a strainer through another strainer by putting both strainers on top of each other? Mainly, both strainers consist of the gaps between the wires and only of very little wire. If you have tried this, you have found out that it is not possible, either. The reason is integrity, i.e. the cohesion of the individual parts of a construction. There is the same type of cohesion between the parts of the atoms and the individual atoms merged to molecules and mesh thus forming matters and between the molecules, that form compounds, e.g. the back rest of your chair.

So it is not only impossible to reach through a compound because the almost empty space is filled with particles moving at high speed but also because the particles forming a compound are connected to each other by forces.

And yet, they do exist – particles that permeate a compound. Maybe you are familiar with the experimental setup, where existence is represented by space radiation. Here, a particle penetrates a fluid and leaves a trace. The reason why this works: Because this particle obeys the a.m. rules for crossing a 6-lane highway:

1.It is only one particle, which is very small and

2.it is very fast.

As long as we fail to exhibit the same qualities regarding dimension and speed, we have to accept the situation and better come to terms with it – we collide with other compounds and are unable to permeate them without pain. However, this should not make us ignore the nature of the subject or even to negate it, for this nature is our nature. And this very fact provides us with almost unlimited possibilities that are only restricted by our individual boundaries of the imaginable.

Everything and everybody is an illusion.

Everything is an illusion, our counterpart as well. Why? Because, just like everything else in our reality, he is designed on the basis of measured data. By us. Any way we think he is – for example in treating us – is only based on our very own evaluationt. Therefore, we all are illusions in other people’s lives. Not heir existences are illusions (even if this is also true due to the previously described physical reasons) but the way they treat us is an illusion we create ourselves.

The reason why we (can) see each other, for we actually would have to be able to look through ourselves and all objects due to so little matter: Because our vision is too slow with too little high-definition and we are too slow at processing images. The electrons move so fast the atoms seem to be a ball. If we could see faster, we would see the nucleus and the electrons separated from each other and the gaping nothing in between. And the resolution of our vision is too low.

The idleness of our brain enables us to see.

From the familiar distance, an image in a newspaper seems to be an image to us. If we take a closer look at the picture, we see the pixels the picture is composed of. And, most of all, we also see the spaces between the pixels. The spaces between the atoms are significantly bigger than those of the pixels of a newspaper picture. If we could see in a higher definition at a high speed and if we could even process this incredibly large number of pictures, we could look through ourselves and everything else. The world would seem like a fly-screen to us. If we took a closer look, we would see that there is something. But only if we concentrate on the little something of a fly-screen. If we don’t look at the fly-screen, we would not notice it anymore just like we wouldn’t notice anything else if we weren’t provided with this optical and mental idleness. The reality we perceive is an optical illusion. Just like the moving images of a film are optical illusions. For, strictly speaking, every movie is based on a number of freeze frames stringed together and presented one after the other at a sufficiently high speed, so that the idleness of our eyes and our brains create the illusion of the motion.

How We Create Our Reality

We have a double filter: sensor technology, showing us only parts of reality and the way we interpret and evaluate these parts. They both make us live in a total illusion for the evaluating part has no direct access to the parts to be evaluated. So we just look at the results of a measuring device (although we see nothing but the display of this measuring device) and try to guess, based on the metered results, how the measured parts might look like.

The ability of our senses filters our perception.

I would like to give you a specific example to make this clearer: Imagine yourself looking at a tank meter, divided up in empty, ¼, ½, ¾, full. Let’s assume the needle is somewhere between ½ and ¾. You only see this and nothing else. This is basically what your brain sees before it makes an evaluation of something it has perceived. It seems quite amusing that we build our opinion of the world on nothing but that kind of parameters and perceptions. Well, that’s how we are because we have no other choice.

The interpretation of perception is a filter, too.

Now, let’s interpret: We have multiple ways of dealing with the perceptions and the parameters. We know for a fact that the needle is between ½ and ¾. That’s all we know. There is nothing more. Yet, there is a number of facts we don’t know:

1.Is this meter correct or is it broken?

2.Is this level enough to get us where we want to go? How much capacity does the tank have? Will it only get me to the next town or can I reach the sea? There are some people who will always think the tank is much too empty, no matter how full it might be. On the other hand, there are people who keep thinking the gas level is sufficient, no matter how low it might be.

3.Will the level change at all? Is this level something that can get higher or lower at all? And if so, can it do so on its own?

4.And if it gets lower, how can I fill it up? Will it fill up automatically? Can it be refilled at all? Do I have to do this? Do others do this? Does it do this on its own?

5.Are there more containers similar to the one whose level indicator I am just looking at? Is this the only tank in my vehicle?

In short: Our attempts of trying to explain the world based on our parameters are destined to fail. We don’t need to explain the world because we are unable to. Therefore, we have the maximum liberty of interpreting it. It is our decision, how we do this. And we better do this in a way that’s personally favorable and evaluate the things we find unfavorable in a more favorable way so we get more options to use our potential both inside and outside.

We determine the quality of our world and our experience by the way we evaluate our perceptions.

Reality is evaluated perception. You will always find what you are looking for. And if you don’t find it directly, you will at least find something that confirms your personal evaluation. In order to find, you need to seek. Searching expresses and determins the intention. So the important question is: “What is it you want to look for because you want to find it?”, and not so much what is it you will actually find.

It is difficult to prove reality.

The problem about a constructed reality is that it cannot be proved as being true for a thesis can’t be proved by itself. “That’s just how it is”, won’t work. We cannot prove something by itself. However, this is just what’s needed when you want to prove reality. A reality can only be proved by and with itself and thus is unprovable. There is no such thing as an independent observer, at least not when the reality to be proved is our own.

Self-Confidence / Self-Awareness

I consider a differentiation of self-awareness and selfconfidence mandatory. In order to explain this, I would like to use a comparison. You can be healthy and you have health. Just like you could be sick, then you would have a sickness.

If you think you want to be something, you must have understood the personal condition as a concept before. Once that is understood, it is your personal decision to identfy with this concept or not. We can only be healthy when we are familiar with the concept of disease and health. Only then, we can identify with it and decide on what we are, healthy or sick.

We cannot identify with something we have no conceptional access to. Thus, our conceptional power of imagination defines the options we can decide upon. So it is well possible that we could be something but actually are not because we have no conceptional access to it.

We can only be what we believe we can be.

An example: The Neanderthal man understood himself as what was possible within his concept.

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