an award winning writer and actress with credits in both journalism and scriptwriting, has appeared in over 11 major and independent movies. She is fascinated by the idea that “we have lived before.” and remembered several of her own in past life sessions conducted by Ms. Vallieres.
Since her childhood she knew that there had to be more than one lifetime. Being adventurous and curious she explored different schools of thought early on in her life. In her personal path she has relived her own past lives and studied the subject to become a past life therapist - long before there was such a profession in the public field.
During her career, Ingrid Vallieres has worked as a translater, psychologist, book author, lecturer and trainer. She is an instructor in counselling psychology and regression therapy and conducts inhouse corporate seminars.
I have known Ingrid Vallieres for over 20 years and admire her for her work and what she has accomplished in her life. Her own story and the case regression histories of some of her many clients is a fascinating tale about an adventurous woman who pioneered in the study of past life therapy. She continues to aid others to move on in this life by solving lingering problems from past lives. Through her work she has shown that life does not end in nothingness but goes on forever.
CHAPTER 1 - “WE HAVE ALWAYS EXISTED”
CHAPTER 2 - YES, OF COURSE WE CAN REMEMBER
CHAPTER 3 - SEARCHING FOR TRUTHS IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES
CHAPTER 4 - ANSWERS MAY LIE IN MYSTICAL INDIA
CHAPTER 5 - THOSE FARAWAY PLACES
CHAPTER 6 - HER GEISHA PAST IS CALLING
CHAPTER 7 - ENLIGHTEN ME, ASIA!
CHAPTER 8 - THE GERMAN GEISHA
CHAPTER 9 - LOVE AND TRAGEDY
CHAPTER 10 - THE PATH BECOMES CLEAR
CHAPTER 11 - THE ANSWERS LIE IN OUR PAST
CHAPTER 12 - PIONEERING IN PAST LIFE THERAPY
CHAPTER 13 - KARMA LINKS
CHAPTER 14 - PRENATAL AND BIRTH EXPERIENCES
CHAPTER 15 - WHAT ABOUT TWINS?
CHAPTER 17 - MANY APPROACHES TO REGRESSION
CHAPTER 18 - SELF INDUCING YOUR OWN REGRESSION
CHAPTER 19 - GINA WAS INTRIGUING
CHAPTER 20 - RESOLVING THOSE “FATAL FLAWS”
CHAPTER 21 - MARGO AND DIETER WERE SOUL MATES
CHAPTER 22 - ERIC AND KATJA
CHAPTER 23 - GARY’S STORY
CHAPTER 24 - WE ARE THE SUM OF ALL OUR LIVES
CHAPTER 25 - BEAUTY ISN’T EVERYTHING
CHAPTER 26 - REGRESSION BEGINS
CHAPTER 27 - INGRID REMEMBERS PAST LIVES
CHAPTER 28 - NEW UNDERSTANDINGS
“We Have Always Existed”
Ingrid Vallieres, a tall, beautiful blonde with bright blue eyes, is considered to be a pioneer in Germany’s large community of past life therapists. Born Ingrid Kreuzwieser in Stuttgart, Germany in 1953, she is a woman who has practiced and taught her craft not only in her own country but throughout Europe, Asia and in the United States. Her philosophy is a simple one: perhaps we have always existed - in one way or another - since the beginning of time.
Yes, Of Course We Can Remember
In revealing Ingrid’s early life and her youthful search for the meaning behind life, we discover how throughout her childhood, she has memory flashes of past lives. Early on, she realizes she has an unusual gift for languages. Somehow, she is able to pick up languages so well that those speaking the languages as their mother tongue would hardly notice her slight accent. She learns the Oriental martial arts and becomes fascinated with Asian cultures. Later she will discover in reincarnation regressions that she lived many past lives in the Near and Far East as well as in the Western World.
Searching For Truths In All The Right Places
Ingrid and her new best friend Roland set out to search for the true meaning of life. At one point, they visit a Yoga school in the Black Forest for a two week stay. There, Ingrid makes her decision to become a vegetarian like the Swami and his followers. When she is asked to translate a visiting Sikh master’s lectures from English to German, she finds him fascinating. And when he invites her to visit him in India, she promises she will do so. It would be a promise she will keep when she turned 17.
Answers May Lie in Mystical India
When she graduates from school at 17, Ingrid talks her parents into letting her go to India. While she supposedly is traveling with her good friend and fellow truth seeker Roland, when they arrive in India she leaves him in Bombay to meditate while she travels around the country by herself.
This chapter deals with her six week visit and the adventures and glimpses of past lives she finds during her travels. Here, she discovers that the Sikh she had promised to visit is the wrong guru for her. She then finds her true spiritual leader.
Those Faraway Places
Two years later, at 19, she again travels to Asia, this time alone. She finds adventure and a new love in Bangkok before realizing that her destiny lies elsewhere. She goes on to visit Japan.
Her Geisha Past Is Calling
Japan is a hauntingly familiar place to her. She was never here before in her life, so how does she know so much about it? She begins to remember strange things, as if she had lived here in a past life. She has a number of unusual encounters in Japan, including reoccurring memories as both a high born Geisha and as a Samurai warrior. At The Conservative University of the Martial Arts in Tokyo she is welcomed and given a Kendo uniform, the headgear, gloves and wooden sword. Later she leaves Tokyo to visit the temples of Kyoto where she has further visions of her past lives in that country.
Enlighten Me, Asia!
Ingrid leaves Japan briefly to visit Korea. While there, she visits the Tae Kwon Do Association headquarters. Returning to Japan, she realizes that, although her vacation is nearing its end, she doesn’t want to leave Japan. She sends a message to her German company that she is quitting her job.
The German Geisha
Back in Tokyo, she finds temporary living quarters and hunts for work. Soon she has a job as a translator. Then a friend introduces her into a new world, that of a hostess in a Japanese nightclub. She moves to an even more exclusive club. Soon, she is also modeling fashions and doing photo shoots for magazines. To her delight, Ingrid is now earning five times her previous German salary in these new jobs.
Love and Tragedy
Ingrid becomes engaged to a Japanese man. Life is perfect until tragedy strikes .when a stove explodes in her face. Burned over 43 percent of her body, she has a Near Death experience in which she leaves her body for a brief time. Hanging between life and death, she is given the choice of staying in this world or returning to the world between lives. She decides to live in spite of her extreme physical pain. It wasn’t her time to die and she knows she had a mission to fulfill. Ingrid returns to Germany, not knowing what lies ahead of her.
The Path Becomes Clear
From her near death experience, Ingrid has learned a great life’s secret – bad experiences can help us in the end, if we look at them in a positive life. Something better was coming. As she recuperates from her injuries, her friend Roland tells her of how he just had a past life regression and suggests she should look into this new philosophy, too. Roland leads her to find her life’s purpose.
The Answers Lie In Our Past.
Suffering from depression, melancholy and lack of self esteem after her accident and the death of all her great plans in Japan, Ingrid now seeks ways to recover her inner stability. She wonders if the answers might lie in her past lives. She first studies Dianetics for several years, and marries a new love Marc Vallieres .Although Marc is deeply into the movement, Ingrid wants to move on. Marc and she have an amiable separation and divorce.
In the mid 1970’s, Ingrid goes to California to study with Dr. Morris Netherton, an authority in the field of past life regression.
She returns to Germany in 1978 to find that reincarnation is becoming a hot topic thanks to a book by a German author, Therwald Dethlefsen.
Pioneering In Past Life Therapy
Home once again in Stuttgart, Ingrid still has no idea what will happen next in her life. Looking upon her reincarnation studies as a hobby, she forms a translation company. Friends beg her to regress them. At first she does it for free until her client list in this grows so large she decides to begin charging for her work. She forms a new company, The Institute for Past Life Research.
Her spiritual path suddenly becomes a practical profession. It astounds her more than anyone else. Her new clients come to her as unbelievers and, as their past lifetimes are laid out for them, become believers.
In this chapter, Ingrid explains karmic links between souls, in which people are reincarnated in the same “casts” of friends and relatives over and over again. Ingrid’s studies indicate that we pick our parents and the lives we lead in order to learn certain lessons in live. She gives the reader several exercises to do in this chapter.
Prenatal and Birth Experiences
Ingrid explains that the basis of all past life work is the prenatal and birth experience. Everything that happens in pregnancy, even the music the mother plays, is picked up and stored by the baby growing within her body. The soul’s hunger for life is so strong that it will even push a couple together in order to be born even in unfortunate circumstances Acceptance by parents of the upcoming birth is important. The first time the mother realizes she is pregnant is the first greeting given her baby, and that baby will take it in and store it in its subconscious. The way we react to the trauma of birth establishes how we handle stress in our later life.
What About Twins?
In this chapter, we study how twins are separate souls, yet their lives are often entwined for better or for worse. Sometimes twins were rivals in past lives, such as Kristine and Sylvia. Both women uncover identical stories about their pasts and are stunned to learn that the other had experienced them, too. Helmut always hated his twin for good reason. They were old enemies, and the brother was their parents’ favorite in this lifetime. Also explored is the moment of conception, how we choose our parents and how important it is to us if our mothers accept us without any thought of rejection.
Here, Ingrid discusses some of her regressions, including overcoming her own fear of spiders. She explains that in regression work, fears are handled by directly addressing them. Many of our irrational fears and minor illnesses, such as headaches, can be explained by events from our past lives.
Many Approaches to Regression
In this chapter, Ingrid outlines in depth the various approaches to regression work. These include psychic readings, symbolic therapy, problem and non problem oriented therapy, hypnosis and the non hypnotic approach. She explains why she prefers the latter.
Self Inducing Your Own Regression
Ingrid offers a few simple ways for anyone to experience one of their own regressions. Ingrid notes, however, that no therapy can be done through do-it-yourself regressions, as you need an experienced therapist to help you through it.
Gina Was Intriguing
This chapter deals with one of Ingrid Vallieres most exciting cases. It points out that we may have all existed - in one way or another - since the beginning of time. Learning the truth about our past lives will resolve any problem and bring us relief in this, our present life. It goes into depth on the various past lives of “Gina,” a German woman who once danced the “dance of love” as a young priestess in a temple dedicated to Kore, daughter of Demeter.
Resolving Those Fatal Flaws
As shown in the past lives of Ingrid’s clients, you can be freed of your past “fatal flaws.” In every lifetime, there is a turning point where we can change everything, but such a decision can carry a terrible price. If we fail to accomplish what we were sent here to accomplish, life can get very difficult in the births that follow. We can, through past life therapy, learn from this mistake, clean it up and change our ways
Margo and Dieter Were Soul Mates
Margo and Dieter, husband and wife, had been together for many lifetimes. He had also experienced a lifetime as a space alien. An artist in this lifetime, in many of his pictures he keeps drawing the face of an unknown woman. One day, he meets her. She is Magda. Both are regressed by Ingrid with surprising results.
Eric and Katja
As did Dieter in the previous story, Eric also has a dream girl, Katja, but the two souls never seem to get together, whether it’s in this lifetime or in the many previous ones they have shared. He also remembers a humiliating experience in one lifetime in connection with an Egyptian queen. Ingrid helps him solve his problems.
Gary was a Roman ruler who fell in love with an Egyptian queen. They want to combine their countries, but Rome refuses to consider it. He is killed when he returns to Rome. In this life, Gary regrets subconsciously not being able to handle this past life more successfully.
We Are the Sum of All Our Lives
How we each have a higher consciousness which is always present, especially after death, and how we need to learn to live simultaneously at all levels of consciousness. Our subconscious will put up blocks to prevent an incident from a past life to reoccur in this one.
In this chapter, we learn of Renata who continued to “blow it” over and over again until she learned “why”.
Beauty Isn’t Everything
Beauty isn’t everything, Ingrid tells us as she discusses one of her clients.Renata is a beautiful woman, who came to her because it just as everything was going well they seemed to go bad. As Ingrid points out, for every recurring problem, there is a fully fledged past life at the cause, and so there was for Renata. In this chapter we also learn the story of Bridget and her sons and how their past lives were now affecting their present ones.
Ingrid explains how she begins each course of reincarnation therapy with a preliminary talk. From this she obtains a picture of your life situation. Important points are the experiences of childhood and your relationship with your parents and siblings. The nature of these interactions reflects past roles. Everything you encounter continuously in this life and find hard to bear are signs of past experiences which haven’t been pleasant. The beginnings and endings of life do not always come easily. This chapter is an in depth discussion of her methods.
Ingrid Remembers Past Lives.
Ingrid explains how over the years, she has been regressed by a number of other people and has regressed herself as well using her own techniques. She tells of some of her past lives in Germany, Japan and Florida in the U.S. She believes she chose her family in this life because in her last one, her best friend became her father in this present life.
It has been many years now since Ingrid Vallieres began her journey first into self discovery and then into starting her life’s work as one of Germany’s pioneer past life therapists. She is the founder of the Institute for Past Life Research and Creative Management International, (CMI) which is a consulting firm in which she offers leadership conferences and other services. She is the author of five books and has a starring role in a European documentary about reincarnation. She continues her lecturing at seminars throughout Europe. The Russians honored her for her work and gave her a professorship. She is happy to say that “Today our story (about reincarnation and past life therapy) is out of the closet and trumpeted around the world.
“WE HAVE ALWAYS EXISTED”
German Past Life therapist Ingrid Valliere’s philosophy is a simple one: perhaps we have always existed - in one form or another - since the beginning of time.
Ingrid, a tall, beautiful blonde with bright blue eyes, is considered to be a pioneer in Germany’s large community of past life therapists. “When people tell me emphatically that they don’t believe in reincarnation -the theory that we return from the state we call death to live again in a new body - I suspect strongly that they really do believe, deep down inside but deny its possibility because of fear,” she says.
“You have nothing to fear. Fear is often only a lack of knowledge.”
Born Ingrid Kreuzwieser in Stuttgart, Germany in 1953, she is a woman who has practiced and taught her craft not only in her own country but throughout Europe, Asia and the United States She often hears from her audiences that if reincarnation really does happen to us, it is obvious that God erases those memories of past lives in our present existence. Should we try to learn something against God’s wishes?
Ingrid says that “I tell them that this isn’t necessarily against those wishes, for otherwise it would be impossible to tap into our pasts. But these truths will liberate us, for if we have something hidden away, it will not rest until we learn the truth. The truth will always resolve the mystery and bring us relief. Hiding from it, denying it, only prolongs our misery in this life.”
She maintains that “Yes, it is true. We will live again after this lifetime. You and I have lived many lives before the one we are now experiencing. I know, for I not only remember my own former lives, but I have done thousands of regressions for clients all over the world.”
She explains that sometimes, in spite of the barriers to remembering our consecutive lives, shadows of our past can still affect us.
For example, have you ever visited a place for the first time, yet you “knew” you had been there before? Or have you met a stranger and felt an instant rapport or perhaps an intense dislike, this in spite of never having met this person before in your life?
Perhaps you are half remembering that place or those people from a past life experience.
Ingrid Vallieres has heard many speak of such experiences during her years of practicing past life therapy. When she began her work in the late 1970’s, she was among the first in Germany to practice in this new field. She also became a lecturer on the subject and offers seminars to those wishing to learn more about reincarnation therapy.
She began her therapy work after years of study and exploration in this field.
Sometimes the people who come to her for regression into their former lives still suffer traumas from their past, when they resided in other lands and experienced far different circumstances from what they have now. Through regression, they often find the peace of mind and understanding they have sought for so long.
Ingrid explains that in the usual first few regressions, lives experienced by her clients over the past few thousand years are revealed.
“Most of us will tap into lifetimes dealing with protecting and aiding personal or group survival in wars, famines, various natural catastrophes and other types of violence,” she explains, adding that “the personal conscience is trying to keep those memories submerged. We forget so we can survive.”
She goes on to say that “of course, we don’t successfully forget our past, we only temporarily suppress it, so we can only forget for a time. But the past remains part of us. It will make itself remembered through fears, allergies, apprehension and other unpleasant symptoms. Every time we have an unusual or extremely strong reaction to a happening, we are echoing experiences in our past.”
She believes that because of a rapid explosion of population all over the earth, humanity is in the middle of an acceleration of evolution “The last five thousand years have been very busy ones. Wherever there is violence, loss and death, many symptoms arise, such as fears, discomfort, depression, physical discomfort and destructive behavior. That’s why regressions attempt to get into those traumatic roots experienced in our past.”
When she gives her lectures, one of the questions often asked her is “How did you ever get started in past life therapy?”
“I suppose I could say it was my destiny,” she admits.
YES, OF COURSE WE CAN REMEMBER
Ingrid Vallieres claims to have lived many lifetimes all over the world.
She believes that she was drawn to this work from the very beginning of her current lifetime, although it took a near death experience to propel her into this field.
“I became involved with past life therapy because it is my purpose, the reason I was born into this present lifetime, to go into this field and to deeply explore the layers of the human mind,“ she says. “Today, I am pleased to say that I am considered one of the pioneers in this work.”
Although she initially started her practice in Germany, she has many family ties in the United States. Soon she brought her work to the U. S. as well as to Canada.
She tells her questioners that she truly believes we carry over all memories from other lives we have lived, and all our experiences and past lives.
“Sometimes the veil of forgetfulness is pierced by accident, yet we can also deliberately draw aside those curtains of our past. We can examine those lives, and, by examining them, strengthen this life we now live.”
She says that she has often done this, and that anyone else with a real zest to know their past can do the same. When people ask her how it all began, they often remark that they want to learn more about this intriguing idea of past lives. Could they, too, have lived before? She smiles and always says “Certainly.”
She has written many books about her work. All are in German. Several have been translated into other languages. Her first book, Reincarnation Therapy was subsequently translated into English to be published by Ashgrove Press in England and a French version published by Editions Mortagne in Montreal, Canada.
Other books written by Ingrid Vallieres include Astrology and Reincarnation, Reincarnation for Cats, Schicksalstherapy translated as Fate Therapy.
Probleme? Nein Danke (translated as Problems? No Thanks, a problem solving manual.) The last three books, only available in German, were published by Editions S. Naglschmid in Stuttgart.
Mirrors Within Mirrors, the title of this book, reflects the infinity of human life. Have you ever stood with two large mirrors, one in front of you and one in back? Remember how you are reproduced again and again until your image is so tiny you can’t even distinguish it anymore? Rather like looking into infinity, isn’t it? So do our past lives stretch into infinity.
But when you regress, those past lives lost in time become clear once more. And if there were pain or unresolved issues from those past lives, these will be finally healed.
Ingrid was her parents’ third child and only daughter. She has three brothers, Bernd, who is five years older than she; Gerhard who is two and a half years older; and Dieter, 14 years her junior.
Her grandmother Susan was a German war bride who lost her first husband during World War II. She married Peter, an American G.I. after the end of the war and moved with him to the United States. Ingrid’s mother Ellen, who was an only child, was already grown and stayed behind in Germany.
The fact that her grandmother had married an American greatly influenced Ingrid’s life. When she was two years old, she and her two older brothers went to the United States with her mother to visit their grandmother and step grandfather who were living in Pennsylvania. They stayed for a year. Ingrid’s father had to stay home and work. Ingrid reflects that considering 1955 was still a postwar era in Germany,” it was a financial relief to have the whole family taken care of by my grandparents for awhile.”
She returned to the United States when she was five years old.
“I remember it vividly. Again, it was by boat. Again, my father remained behind in Germany. Ships and travel have always played a very important part in my life.
“I spent the first grade in Frackville, Pennsylvania, a very enjoyable experience. We had single benches where in Germany two pupils were always seated together. I still have my first report card from there, showing all A’s and B’s. I was baptized at my grandparents’ church that year, and I went to Sunday school every week. I learned to speak English very quickly. It is well- known that young children exposed to foreign, new languages can usually learn them very fast, and so it was in my case. For some reason, I have always found it easy to learn new languages and to speak them fluently.”
The family was to return to Germany at the end of the children’s school year. But only Ingrid and her mother went home.
“My older brothers were allowed to remain behind to be raised by Grandmother. I, too, wanted to stay, and I had a big fight with my parents about it. But they were adamant, and perhaps they wanted to have the pleasure of raising one of their children back in Germany.”
Once back home, she discovered a bonus from her year in the States. She was allowed to enter the second grade that fall, which made her a year ahead scholastically of other German youngsters her age and allowed her to complete her studies at sixteen.
“Somehow, even as a child, I always knew that this wasn’t my first time on this planet.
To me, the real question has always been the fate of the soul. What happens after our earthly life? Every boundary has two sides to it - our present existence and the other side.
“Although I couldn’t express it verbally, when I was two years old I had a very strong feeling that ‘this time I’m going to make it,’ whatever ‘it’ was. Even then, I had this great urge to put all my acquired experience and knowledge to work and not to be distracted until I reached my goal. I remember visualizing this goal as that point of no return where I could stay in my inner center and transcend worldly issues. Such strange thoughts for a tiny child!”
Ingrid was eight when she faced the idea of reincarnation for the first time, “although somehow I had known about it all my life,” she says.
“You must understand that I was always a religious child who said her prayers and attended church without urging from my parents. I remember that Sunday even now, after all these years. Our minister was delivering a sermon, talking about salvation, heaven and eternal life. I pulled insistently at Mama’s sleeve. “Mama,” I said, “I’ve lived a thousand lives. You just don’t go to heaven and stay there!”
“How shocked Mama was as she shushed me into silence. But despite her reaction, I knew that what I had blurted out was true.
“Throughout my childhood, time and again I would have flashes of remembering and recognizing landscapes, pictures, sounds and feelings. It would occur to me that I had experienced the same types of problems before, such as feeling cornered, under pressure to do well in school or feeling adventurous. At such times, I felt that no one could stop me.”
Ingrid was an incorrigible runaway in her childhood. The first time was at the age of ten in what she calls “one of my more invincible moments.” She explains that it was because of difficulties with her then current teacher whom she thought was” autocratic and overbearing.” She was wandering along a highway outside of town when the local police spotted her and insisted on driving her home.
“Why on earth, Ingrid!”asked her exasperated mother.
“I’m all grown up inside, Mama,” Ingrid protested. “Why can’t I leave home and be on my own?”
Needless to say, “Mama” wasn’t very sympathetic to her daughter’s protestations of adulthood!
That was also the year she and her best friend developed a “secret alphabet.” For each German letter, they developed another character and wrote letters to each other in this newly created alphabet. Years later, Ingrid would discover that their “secret alphabet” was identical with the Celtic Runes.
“Perhaps my friend and I had tapped into another lifetime where the Runes had been our way of writing.”
Her grandmother and she always had a special empathy for and connection with each other, and the summer she was eleven, Ingrid felt an intense desire to visit her.
“I had spent those several years with her as a young child, so now I prayed intensely for her to invite me back. Sure enough! Although I didn’t tell anyone else about my desires, a few months later Grandmother sent me an airplane ticket and an invitation to spend the summer with her.
“Do I believe in prayers being answered? You bet! I’ve always believed in God, in a force within us and beyond all material appearance.”
There were many similarities between her grandmother and herself, she remembers, including the love of animals, a fierce independence and a strong belief in the supernatural. They spent a happy few months together that summer before she returned to Stuttgart and the start of her fall school term.
Ingrid says as a child she was not only independent but also adventurous and seldom if ever asked her family’s approval of her plans.
“Born a Capricorn, I was never childish. After all, if you remember, I traveled to the United States by myself at the age of eleven and again at thirteen. Yearning for adulthood and for life to be started, I never accepted ‘no’ as an answer for anything.”
She says her mother was the disciplinarian of the family who showed more emotion over her daughter’s various adventures than her father who could be reached by logic.
“Mama always says Papa was soft on me because I was ‘the apple of his eye.’ Later, when I went into past life regression, I learned that he and I had been best friends when we fought together in World War II. I died in that war and was quickly reincarnated as his child. He always let me do what I wanted, trusting that I’d be the reliable comrade as if he somehow remembered me to be that in our last lives. We had an equal partnership, which was unusual in a German family, I must admit. I could usually count on his help when I needed it.”
One such time happened when she was fourteen. Her parents had a rule that on Saturdays, if she came home before 6:00 p.m., she could go out again. That particular Saturday, she came home before six o’clock, but when she prepared to go out later, she was forbidden to go.
“Not tonight, Ingrid,” her mother said in a firm voice.
“Why not?” Ingrid demanded. “I came home on time this afternoon.”
“Because I said so,” she replied, using, as Ingrid says,“ that awful excuse so often used by parents throughout the ages.”
Ingrid stomped up to her room and looked around.
She climbed out her window onto a 12 ft. high balcony. From there she had to maneuver past a tree whose branches tore at her as she clambered over the railing and dropped down to the ground. She listened for a moment but heard nothing. Good. No one was aware of her escape!
She scampered off down the road and into the city.
“I must admit that it wasn’t all that exciting an adventure,” Ingrid remembers ruefully. “I went to the home of a friend and visited with her. Her parents, of course, didn’t know I didn’t have permission to be there. Finally, around 4:00 a.m., I decided to go home. My dilemma lay in getting back into the house, because I surely couldn’t climb back up the way I came down.”